we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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