my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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