do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
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No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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