There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize