How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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