Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
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I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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