went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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