Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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