Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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