Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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