Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize