Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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