When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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