yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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