drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize