No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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