dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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