Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
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Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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