Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
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He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
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Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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