Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize