Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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