I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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