So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
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