Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize