I just threw up on my dentist
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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