Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize