I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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