she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
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Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
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I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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