Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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