Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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