I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
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Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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