everyone is single if you try hard enough
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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