so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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