I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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