Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize