that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize