Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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