And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize