Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Welp...herpes.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Of course I have a pirate flag
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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