Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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