Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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