who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize