idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
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I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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