We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize