Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize