I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize