she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
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I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
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It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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