smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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