she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
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he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
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i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
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