What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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